Life on the Refrigerator Door
April 25th 2008 08:43
Considering the almost epidemic number of cancer victims today, it is hardly surprising that this topic would make its way into the pages of fiction. As in real life, it seems every other character is affected in some way with this most feared and heartbreaking disease.
But I’ve found a book that deals with the family trauma of cancer in a very unique way … through notes left on the refrigerator door. Life on the Refrigerator Door by Alice Kuipers is one of the fastest read you’ll ever have but it has a lasting impact that all mothers and daughters will feel.
Mum (we only know her as ‘Mom') is a divorced, practicing obstetrician with a teenage daughter, Claire. In short, a very busy woman. Due to the crazy working hours of all such specialists, mother and daughter have fallen into the habit of communicating via notes on the refrigerator door. All parents of today know what I’m talking about, I’ve done it myself. It is undoubtedly the first place a school age child goes to when they arrive home. OK, maybe after the toilet … But the point is, if you want them to see your message you leave on the fridge door!
At first there are the mandatory shopping lists, arrival and departing times, request for allowance and sleepovers and other teenage necessities along with lots of ‘I love yous’ and hugs and kisses. It all seems to work fine.
Then, somewhere along the way Mum finds a lump in her breast and starts seeing her own specialist. It becomes clear that notes are no longer going to be a sufficient enough vehicle to deal with what mother and daughter are about to be thrown into. Both are scared… not only of what is happening, but of sitting down and talking to each other. So the notes go on and soon we understand that a life time is never long enough to spend with those we love.
It’s touching and very cleverly done, with today’s mother/daughter relationship brilliantly played out on the fridge door. Through the notes we learn of Claire’s father, several close friends and/or relations of her mother’s, Claire’s school friends and a first love. Even her pet rabbit, Peter gets a look in (he is often referred to in the notes – Peter needs food, Peter’s cage needs cleaning etc…).
Communication can never be under-valued in any relationship but never more so than between a parent and child. A failure to keep some open dialogue can be enough to create an un-repairable gap between generations. And all too often … time runs out and it becomes too late.
If you feel in the mood to rethink a few things about your life, pick up this little book and learn how not to do it.
PS. Visit the very clever 'Life on the Refrigerator Door' site and leave your own note.
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